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[Creepypasta] A Watery Grave
04-10-2014, 07:52 PM
Post: #1
A Watery Grave
I pondered with a pencil in hand, in third period which for me was Social Studies. What should I draw? I thought to myself as Coach McNeil said something about the rally in Egypt. I looked like I was in deep thought, that is until a girl behind me, Kaylee, asked for my Section 1 and 2 work.

"Uhh sure. Lemme find it." I whispered to her, as a I rummaged through my bag. To find the papers in my planner.

I froze whenever Coach McNeil told me to stop looking through my bag. I turned towards him, "I was only getting Section 1 and 2 out." I said to him. "Oh, ok." He said to me kinda whispering to a point to where only I could understand.

So I started to doodle my old flame, Flamer, I gave him a beautiful main and tail and a well built body. Just the way I remember him. I smiled to myself and them began to color it.

Then during the reading, I fell into a deep sleep. I dreamt about my old pokemon, the ones I had on my Pokemon Emerald.

This dream was mainly about my Arcanine, Flamer.

I was enjoying my sleep until a few minutes before the bell rang when my friend, Katerina, awakened me.

"Raven, wake up. It's almost time for the bell." Turns out I was in a deep sleep and she had to shake me awake.

I awoke groggily and yawned, putting away my clipboard with the picture of Flamer on it. I walked until I had gotten to the 6th grade Social Studies room where I met up with my friend, Star.

I told her about the drawing I did of Flamer. She squealed happily and seemed excited. "Ffff you should bring the picture outside with you at recess." she said to me, holding her blue binder in her hands.

"I planned to do that." I said to her as we passed the school's Library. She squeeled even more happy know that I was going to bring out the drawing.

I was pretty excited that she was excited to see it.On the way to fourth period, I felt a pang in my lower stomach, I shrugged it off and just continued to gather my stuff.

I was dizzy, but could still walk by some miracle. So it was when I found out that we weren't doing anything that I took out my DS.

I placed Pokemon Emerald into the little GBA slot at the bottom of the DS. I smiled as the game came to life and I saw that Flamer was first in my party. I then got into a battle with a wild female Vulpix.

I was curious as to why Flamer's Intimidate didn't lower Vulpix's attack.

" The wild VULPIX is not affected by Flamer's INTIMIDATE because the VULPIX is not afraid of Flamer." Once I saw this, I mentally spewed curses at the game. I let it go.

So then I started to attack, using Flamethrower, and Flamer missed. That's what set me off. Flamer almost never misses. I spewed almost all the curse words I could at the game.

Just then a little message appeared at the bottom. "Flamer doesn't like it when you critize him when he battles." I stared confused at the message. I ignored it and the VULPIX used Crunch.

Hurting Flamer a bit, I went back to his move selection. I chose, Crunch.

"Flamer doens't answer to those who are angered with his actions." A message saying that appeared at the bottom of the screen.

Instead, Flamer used Flamethrower, killing the Vulpix in one blow.

The screen faded out of the battle screen and reappeared to where it seemed like Flamer were walking through the forest. I turned and talked to Flamer.

"Flamer is disatisfied with your actions of making him do things he doesn't approve of."

I stared at the message confused. I clicked to talk to Flamer again. "Flamer will not listen to you or what you do to it." Again I stared at the message again.

I shrugged it off and continued to walk through the forest. Curiosity got the best of me, so I turned around and talked to Flamer again. "Flamer decides to never forgive you for what you done to him."

The screen went black and showed Flamer lying on the ground, dead along with my other pokemon, all except for Mona Lisa, my Milotic. "Finally.....their all gone." I could've swore to myself I heard her speak.

"Now all you've got is me and all you'll ever have is me. You can always fight with me, or never again."

I was curious at to what the "Never again" part ment. I was in shock from the death of my other pokemon to really care. "Well maybe I'm tired of fighting with you! I wanted to train my other to be strong!"

My saying that was my fatal mistake.

Mona Lisa, furious with the choice made, lashed out at me with her tail, trying to cut me. She succeded and made a deep gash in my leg, trying to slow me down. Then she stabbed me with her tail.

She hissed and slithered towards me like a snake throgh the grass. Using surf, she gave me a blow that would let me dream about Flame and the others.........


Hours later, my mom tried to wake me up as my sister felt something wet on the bed. She turned on the light.

Finding that blood and water covered the bed, and me lying there, lifeless with stab wounds and a large gash in my leg. She screamed as she never got to see her little sister again.

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Silent be the winds on the fields of rye...

...forget me not but don't await my return.
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04-15-2014, 03:26 AM
Post: #2
RE: A Watery Grave
Hm... I can't say liked it...

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05-26-2014, 08:30 PM
Post: #3
RE: A Watery Grave
The story was a bit random. I had to read it four times before I got it. Why would someone just suddenly get dizzy and just then feels pangs. I also don't understand why Flame decided to just do what they did then. What I do understand, although, is that you have written a lot of Creepypastas and are likely running out of ideas. What I do understand is that I'm very picky. xD derp. If you added a bit more detail and reasons for the Pokemon to be upset, then that would be a 9 out of 10 story. Only reading and writing pastas for a year, I'm probably not one to judge but this is my personal opinion and if you worked a bit more on this it would be really good.
Please don't take offense or think I'm a meany. PWEASEEE!!!

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